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Miss North Da-Freaking-Kota!

June 8, 2010

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TShirtBordello.com is completely unaffiliated with that joke. (TShirtBordello.com)

Guess what? I know of a couple of people that are competing in the Miss North Dakota Pageant this June 10-12. Do you know what that means? JohnInk.com has a chance to get it’s first CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT! That’s what that means! All I need to do is help one of them win, then convince them that my website is good! That should be easy enough…

Miss PEACE GARDEN!!!

Platform: Keeping Music in Schools… AND TAKING NAMES!!!

The Legendary Miss Peace Garden is a force to be contended with. She is said to weigh a metric ton, all muscle. Though no one has dared to weigh her. It’s said she possesses the ability to SNAP FULL GROWN TREES with her BARE HANDS. And to stay carbon neutral, she always plants ten trees for every one she rips down! Without a shovel! She can probably shoot lasers out of her eyes! And fly maybe! And she has a gun in that drawing! And she is pretty! BOOM!

Miss WILLISTON!!!

School: North Dakota State University OF PAIN!

It is said Miss Williston usually rescues a bus full of orphans before breakfast! But who is this mysterious hero of the ages? Raised by wolves/velociraptors, she grew up in the far fridgid North of Dakota. Now, she fights the forces of evil, with her nanofiber exoskeleton and her sidekick, Sparky. Or, so it’s been said. By me, mostly. She also has an accelerated growth factor, can run faster than a bullet fired at the speed of light, and has a lovely singing voice.

Other Contestants I know well enough to be friends on Facebook:

Miss Williams County! Miss Oil Country! Equally stellar.

Sweet. I’m sorry I can’t be there, I have to work. I mean, one of them will win for sure now.

Wish them luck. For the sake of JohnInk.com! And the World!

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